My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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