Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
