Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
