things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
where are my eyebrows?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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