He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
