Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
