I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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