hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
