You really coming over, don't trick.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It was confusing and full of hummus
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
