I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
