the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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