we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
