are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
