C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
