She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
