you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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