Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
