i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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