Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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