He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
