i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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