Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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