billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
