my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had sex on a roof
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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