I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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