Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
