Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My vagina is officially offended.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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