Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
