Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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