I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
only if we run a train.
done.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
