my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
