Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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