is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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