I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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