Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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