I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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