remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
