Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
