dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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