I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize