so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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