dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
