creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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