I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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