Plan B is the new Plan A
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
