this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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