My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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