I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
