why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
