so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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