She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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