you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
