How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
