yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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