I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
