They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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