you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
